This week we decided to try something a little different. We’ve been wondering if it is possible to get a decent or even half-way decent tamale at your local grocery store. We thought they could be handy in an emergency situation. The results were so horrifying that we cannot include our usual rating system.

Read on and do not try this at home.

Pretty on the outside but evil lurks inside.

Rosemary’s Raves and Rants:

OK, we all know that anyone who would make their life’s work reviewing and searching for the best Tamales is already positioned to be a Tamale Snob. So why would we venture into the supermarket aisle in search of a decent Tamale?

Why would we even consider trying one of the frozen hockey pucks brimming with chemicals preservatives and heaven only knows what other ingredients? Because we are dedicated, and someone needs to determine the edibility factor and, if luck might have it, answer the question: is there a decent Tamale lurking out there in the chain stores that might do in a pinch? Well, there is. Trader Joe’s.

THe chicken & the chile cheese are both surprisingly good. Microwaving is probably not the best way to warm them, but you can’t argue with the convenience. The texture of the masa is fine, and the flavor is pretty good. Throw a little hot sauce and a side salad and you can make a good meal.

But that’s it. Don’t go any further into the abyss. Forget the DeliMex by Heinz. Do not open the Hormel can of Tamales. Avoid the El Monterey. And for god’s sake, don’t buy the Xlnt brand. Even the dogs passed.

Hormel canned tamales

Hormel canned "tamales"

Tamales even a dog would hate

Tamales even a dog would hate.

Magda’s Rants. Only Rants:

The big question I have to ask is “Who is buying these?” I know that XLNT and Hormel have been around since I was a kid and I couldn’t believe it when I found them in the grocery store freezer. Haven’t our taste buds evolved? (Full disclosure: My mom actually ate them once in awhile.)

Reading the ingredient list is enough to send you to the ER. (Oddly enough the Hormel canned tamales were the only ones with all natural ingredients.)

Stop it people!!!! Don’t eat this crap anymore. That is all.

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